I'm pathetic.

I used to love living alone.  It was so peaceful and quiet and I could come home at the end of the day and be completely sure of a nice evening curled up with a book with nobody to bug me or interrupt me.  Then I got married and it all went wrong.  Not the part where I have the company of my husband in the evenings - I *like* that - there's nobody else I would rather spend every hour of the day with. 

No, my problem is what to do when he's NOT there.  My routine is completely flung out of kilter and I don't know what to do with myself. 

I waste (even more) time on the internet, procrastinate about food so that I end up not eating until 9.30pm, knock over and break my glass of wine and spend twenty minutes scrabbling around under the couch for the stem of the glass (it never turned up - where *is* it?), watch twenty minutes of a Richard Gere film (why?) and then, with the profoundest relief, see that it is nearly 10.30pm and I can give the baby her night feed and slink off to bed in mortification at myself.

Comments

[Kate]

This amuses me - I'm the exact same. Last night, himself didn't get home from work til after 1 a.m. (latest this week, but the earliest was about 11.30) and I was so pathetic - not only did I not eat til after half past nine, I didn't even make a proper meal! And I spent about two hours online...

[Élena]

Aww, that's cute.

[Jessica]

I find I used to be the same when I worked full time and Doug wasn't around. But now I'm working part time and he's working full time. I'm starting to enjoy being by myself and look forward to the times when I can truly do exactly what I want when I want (not that he ever restricts me from something but I would feel a little guilty spending our only one or two days off together doing things I purely enjoy...like sewing or making art all day). So try to enjoy this time if you can, do curl up with a nice book etc.

[RWW]

I'm the opposite. When C is around, I'm robbed of all vim and vigour and fret about in dirty old t-shirts. This week's holiday has been verrry slovenly as a result...

[The Sexy Pedestrian]

I know exactly how you feel. I used to have my own routine, now I have a routine designed for two, and when one is not there, the routine goes off kilter and nothing within it works properly - like all the chicken fillets are frozen in twos, so if I want just one, I have to defrost them both. It's a problem.